16 Relaxing Quotes To Make You Feel Better

Positive and Happy Relaxing Quotes

For goodness sakes’ people: Smile!

All is not gloom and doom.   

The future may contain huge unknowns, but doesn’t it always? The other side may seem completely wrong about everything,  but isn’t there a possibility that there may be the slightest smidgeon of right lurking under the bombast?  Your favorite sports team may seem condemned by a broken ankle, but aren’t there another 54 or so players still running around on 2 good legs?   

Move away from the dark side. Turn off the noise and go sit outside and gaze at a tree.  Take a deep breath. 

Read this column.  

Here are a few quotes to help you along. Author unknown unless noted.  

  1. “I hate it when people act all intellectual and talk about Mozart when they have never seen one of his paintings.”

2. “The three hardest things to say are:  1) I was wrong; 2) I need help; 3) Worstershire sauce.”

3. “I have never killed a man but I have read many obituaries with pleasure.”  Clarence Darrow

4. “Picked up a hitchhiker. Seemed like a nice guy.  After a few miles he asked if I wasn’t afraid that he might be a serial killer. I told him no, that the odds of 2 serial killers being in the same car were unlikely. “

5. “Today has been a strange day.  First I found a hat full of money. Then I was chased down the road by an angry man with a guitar.” 

6. “A wife, being a romantic sort, sent her husband this text:  “If you are sleeping, send me your dreams.  If you are laughing, send me your smile.  If you are eating, send me a bite. If you are drinking, send me a sip.  If you are crying, send me your tears.  I love you!’  The husband, typically non-romantic,  texted back:  “I am on the toilet.  Please advise.””

7. “I went dancing last night.  Well, it was a roadside test….. same thing.”

8. “Thank you for sending me a copy of your book.  I will waste no time reading it.” Moses Hadas

9. “Told my wife I wanted to be cremated. She made me an appointment for next Tuesday.”

10. “This “killing them with kindness” is taking way longer than I expected.”

11. “I don’t think the therapist is supposed to say “wow” that many times in a first session, but here we are.”

12. “Woman:  (sobbing her heart out, eyes swollen, nose red):  “I can’t see you anymore…..I’m not going to let you hurt me again. “ Trainer: “It was a sit-up.  You did one sit-up.””

13. “A man asked his wife, “What would you do if I won the lottery?” She said “I would take half and leave you. “Great” he said. “I won $12. Here’s $6. Stay in touch.””

14. “Because of Covid the National Spelling Bee has been cancil……cancul…..cansel…..it’s been called off.” 

15. “Some cause happiness wherever they go;  others whenever they go.”  Oscar Wilde

16. Texas has had many larger-than-life characters, but most everyone agrees that Judge Roy Bean was the most colorful character to ever dispense justice. His ending for wedding ceremonies was a classic: “I pronounce you man and wife. May God have mercy on your soul.”

Now don’t you feel better?

Virginia Hammerle is a Texas attorney whose practice includes estate planningguardianship and probate. Sign up for her newsletter at legaltalk@hammerle.com. Contact Hammerle Finley Law Firm to schedule a consultation at hammerle.com.