For goodness sakes’ people: Smile!
All is not gloom and doom.
The future may contain huge unknowns, but doesn’t it always? The other side may seem completely wrong about everything, but isn’t there a possibility that there may be the slightest smidgeon of right lurking under the bombast? Your favorite sports team may seem condemned by a broken ankle, but aren’t there another 54 or so players still running around on 2 good legs?
Move away from the dark side. Turn off the noise and go sit outside and gaze at a tree. Take a deep breath.
Read this column.
Here are a few quotes to help you along. Author unknown unless noted.
- “I hate it when people act all intellectual and talk about Mozart when they have never seen one of his paintings.”
2. “The three hardest things to say are: 1) I was wrong; 2) I need help; 3) Worstershire sauce.”
3. “I have never killed a man but I have read many obituaries with pleasure.” Clarence Darrow
4. “Picked up a hitchhiker. Seemed like a nice guy. After a few miles he asked if I wasn’t afraid that he might be a serial killer. I told him no, that the odds of 2 serial killers being in the same car were unlikely. “
5. “Today has been a strange day. First I found a hat full of money. Then I was chased down the road by an angry man with a guitar.”
6. “A wife, being a romantic sort, sent her husband this text: “If you are sleeping, send me your dreams. If you are laughing, send me your smile. If you are eating, send me a bite. If you are drinking, send me a sip. If you are crying, send me your tears. I love you!’ The husband, typically non-romantic, texted back: “I am on the toilet. Please advise.””
7. “I went dancing last night. Well, it was a roadside test….. same thing.”
8. “Thank you for sending me a copy of your book. I will waste no time reading it.” Moses Hadas
9. “Told my wife I wanted to be cremated. She made me an appointment for next Tuesday.”
10. “This “killing them with kindness” is taking way longer than I expected.”
11. “I don’t think the therapist is supposed to say “wow” that many times in a first session, but here we are.”
12. “Woman: (sobbing her heart out, eyes swollen, nose red): “I can’t see you anymore…..I’m not going to let you hurt me again. “ Trainer: “It was a sit-up. You did one sit-up.””
13. “A man asked his wife, “What would you do if I won the lottery?” She said “I would take half and leave you. “Great” he said. “I won $12. Here’s $6. Stay in touch.””
14. “Because of Covid the National Spelling Bee has been cancil……cancul…..cansel…..it’s been called off.”
15. “Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.” Oscar Wilde
16. Texas has had many larger-than-life characters, but most everyone agrees that Judge Roy Bean was the most colorful character to ever dispense justice. His ending for wedding ceremonies was a classic: “I pronounce you man and wife. May God have mercy on your soul.”
Now don’t you feel better?
Virginia Hammerle is a Texas attorney whose practice includes estate planning, guardianship and probate. Sign up for her newsletter at email@example.com. Contact Hammerle Finley Law Firm to schedule a consultation at hammerle.com.